Aromatic Rituals for Holiday Stress, Boundaries & Nervous System Support

You’re standing in your childhood kitchen when it begins: your mother casually asking why you’re still single (again), your sister spiraling about seating arrangements, and your uncle launching into opinions you stopped agreeing with a decade ago. The turkey is drying out, someone’s crying in the bathroom, and you can feel your jaw tightening by the minute. You arrived hoping for connection, maybe even a touch of holiday magic. Instead, you're calculating how soon you can slip out politely, and whether there’s any wine left.

Or maybe your holiday stress takes a different shape. Maybe it’s the blur of back-to-back parties with conversations stacked on top of each other, the credit card balance climbing with every gift, the resurfacing of old stories you thought you’d outgrown, or the never-ending to-do list that takes priority while your own needs drift further and further out of reach. Maybe it's the weight of expectations – both the ones others place on you and the ones you place on yourself.

Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher, once said, "If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your family." And it’s true: we can love our families and this season deeply, while still acknowledging that the holidays have a way of showing us exactly where our edges are, where our nervous systems get activated, and where our carefully constructed sense of okayness starts to unravel.

This is where aromatic plants become invaluable allies. Through their unique energetic qualities and chemistry, they offer stability when you feel scattered, emotional balance when feelings run high, and clarity when boundaries blur. Aromatic plants can soothe stress, strengthen our sense of self, and help us stay grounded (even when your brother is still talking, and the turkey is definitely ruined). Let’s explore how they do this, and which aromatic plants to keep on hand this holiday season to move through the hustle and bustle with a little more steadiness and grace.

Aromatic medicine offers tools for somatic and energetic support that work directly with our nervous system and support our capacity to stay rooted in ourselves. Somatic support refers to practices that help regulate the physical body, like your breath and nervous system, so you can shift out of stress mode and back into a grounded, embodied state. Energetic support focuses on your subtle body: your emotional landscape, mood, and the felt “tone” of your inner world. Aromatic plants weave these two realms together beautifully. They can soothe holiday stress, bring you back into your body when you feel scattered, and gently balance emotional overwhelm. 

Holiday stress shows up in many forms: the exhaustion of travel, the weight of social expectations, financial strain, and the juggling act of too many responsibilities. The pressure to say yes to everything because you don’t want to let anyone down. There are family triggers that resurface year after year, the tendency to overextend ourselves, and the sensory overload that comes from crowded spaces, bright lights, overeating, and constant stimulation. And we can’t forget the sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.

At the root of all this is our nervous system. When stress accumulates, our sympathetic nervous system, known as the fight-or-flight response, dominates. Our heart races, our thoughts scatter, and our body tenses. The capacity to set healthy boundaries weakens because we're operating from a place of reactivity rather than groundedness. In these moments, what we really need is to slow down and activate our parasympathetic nervous system, the rest-and-digest state where emotional regulation, clear thinking, and authentic presence become possible again.

This is where aromatic plants work their particular magic. When you inhale the volatile compounds of essential oils or aromatic smoke, they travel directly through your olfactory pathways to your limbic system: the emotional center of your brain. This bypass of cognitive processing means aromatic plants can shift your state quickly, helping you drop from your head into your body, from reactivity into response, from fragmentation into wholeness.

Lavender is perhaps the most recognized calming plant in the aromatic world, and for good reason. It harmonizes and regulates our nervous system, particularly when anxiety spirals into racing thoughts or physical tension. Lavender helps you decompress after intense social gatherings and supports deeper, more restful sleep when your mind struggles to settle. Energetically, Lavender softens the heart while simultaneously creating emotional spaciousness. It doesn't numb you to feeling, but rather, it makes room for feelings to move through without overwhelming you or getting stuck on them.

When your mind feels scattered across a dozen obligations and your breath has become shallow with stress, Frankincense brings you back. This ancient resin deepens your breathing almost immediately, slowing the mental chatter and mediating the sense of overwhelm that can make even simple tasks feel impossible. Frankincense helps you shift from feeling pulled in a bunch of different directions to feeling balanced and centered. It helps you transition from “doing” to being. Energetically, it strengthens your spiritual boundaries and reconnects you to the inner stillness that exists beneath all the holiday noise. My favorite way to enjoy this sacred medicine is by using its raw resin form as incense. 

Sometimes what you need most isn't deep grounding but a lift, something to counter the heaviness that can settle in during darker months and demanding schedules. Sweet Orange essential oil is bright, warm, and comforting. It lifts mood, dispels tension, and reminds you that joy doesn't have to be earned or performed. Energetically, Sweet Orange helps restore lightness and spontaneity. It's the plant that reminds you to play, to laugh, and to invite ease back into the body and mind.

Vetiver root is one of the most powerful grounding plants in the aromatic toolkit. Summoned from roots that grow deep into the earth, Vetiver's thick, earthy aroma centers your soul and brings you back into your body. It's known to be particularly helpful for anxiety, overstimulation, and moments when you feel dysregulated or unmoored. Energetically, Vetiver anchors you into the Earth and your personal space. When you feel like you're floating away or scattered into pieces, Vetiver says: you are here, you are whole, and you are held by the Earth.

Juniper has long been used to clear and purify spaces, both physically and energetically. Its crisp, fresh, piney scent is known to help cleanse energy that is ready to be released, making it particularly valuable before (or after) family or social gatherings when you need to set boundaries or let go of the emotions that were recently stirred up. Energetically, Juniper is protective without being defensive. It's warming and strengthening, helping you hold your center while remaining open-hearted.

During the holidays, many of us slip into old patterns without even noticing. We say yes to every gathering, every request, and every extra task. We pick up emotional labor we never agreed to. We fall back into social roles we’ve long outgrown, simply because that’s what we’ve always done. But constantly saying yes and overextending ourselves can lead to burnout and exhaustion, depleting the joy from the holiday season. 

Boundaries are essential for preserving our energy and protecting our spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being (which ultimately impacts our physical health, too). A true boundary isn’t a wall: it’s the felt sense of where you end, and someone else begins. It’s the capacity to say yes or no from a place of inner truth rather than obligation, guilt, or fear. When the nervous system is regulated, boundaries arise naturally. But when we’re overwhelmed or overstimulated, they’re often the first thing to collapse.

This is where aromatic plants shine. Scent has a remarkable ability to create an immediate, invisible “field” around the body – a kind of energetic buffer that helps you stay rooted in your own experience and connected to your heart. Working with strengthening, protective aromatics can reinforce that personal space, helping you hold your center instead of absorbing everyone else’s emotions or expectations. In this way, you can stay true to yourself and honor your wants and needs. Remember, tending to your own well-being first is what allows you to genuinely show up for others.

This practice of boundary setting is powerful support for empaths, people-pleasers, highly sensitive folks, and, honestly, anyone who’s navigating the emotional density of the holiday season. Let’s explore a few of my favorite aromatic plants for supporting energetic boundaries.

Yarrow is a master boundary plant, often described as creating an energetic shield around those who work with it. For sensitive people, empaths, or anyone who tends to absorb the emotional atmosphere of a room, Yarrow offers protection. It helps you stay in your own energy, so you can move through even the most hectic environments with clarity and steadiness. I love calling upon Yarrow hydrosol or flower essence during challenging family dynamics and loud, overwhelming gatherings.

When you need to clear mental fog or stay anchored in your own agency, Rosemary is the plant to reach for. It sharpens focus, strengthens discernment, and helps you stay connected to what you truly want and believe, even when you’re surrounded by strong personalities or competing agendas. Rosemary is especially supportive for people-pleasers, and it’s a welcomed ally when holiday indulgences (yes, even that extra slice of apple pie) leave your mind feeling a bit sluggish.

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Myrrh resin carries a grounding, reverent quality that brings deep calm to the nervous system, helping quiet worry, overthinking, and emotional turbulence. Its purifying aroma supports the release of old emotional residue, softens grief, and helps mend the inner places where we’ve felt wounded or depleted. When you need stability, spiritual clarity, or a sense of sacred protection in the midst of chaos, Myrrh creates an atmosphere of peace that helps you stay anchored in yourself.

Remember: the intention you bring to your aromatic rituals is just as important and powerful as the plants themselves. Aromatic plants aren’t pills meant to “fix” us – they’re allies that walk beside us. They can support, steady, and remind us of our center, but we also have to meet them halfway.

To begin, choose one (or a few) aromatic plants that truly resonate with you. You can work with any of the plants mentioned above, or another aromatic you already love. Then create a remedy that feels meaningful and intentional: an incense blend using powdered herbs burned on charcoal, an essential oil blend for a diffuser, a hydrosol mist, a botanical perfume you can carry with you. or a grounding chest rub that melts away anxious feelings.

When you're ready to use your aromatic ally, take a few moments for yourself. Find a quiet space, even if it's just two minutes in your car before walking into a gathering. Inhale the aroma slowly and deliberately. Take a few deep breaths, letting the scent anchor you. Repeat an intentional mantra to yourself as you breathe.

Here are a few possibilities:

- "I am grounded in my body, clear in my boundaries."

- "I release what is not mine to carry."

- "I choose presence over perfection."

- "I am enough, exactly as I am."

- "I meet this moment with an open heart and clear limits."


You got this.

Before a gathering: Take 5 intentional minutes with your aromatic plant(s). Practice slow, even breathing (like 4 counts in, 4 counts out), while holding the intention to stay connected to yourself throughout whatever lies ahead.

During overwhelm: Slip outside or into the bathroom for a quick reset. Carry a small bottle of essential oil, a personal inhaler, or chest rub. Uncap it, take a few deep, slow breaths, and let the aroma work on your nervous system. Aromatics can act quickly – sometimes just 3 breaths are enough.

End-of-day decompression: Light natural incense or run a diffuser with a grounding blend. Lie or sit down, and simply breathe. Let the day discharge from your system. Pro tip: If you’re hosting people for a holiday gathering, have the incense or diffuser going throughout the event!

The holidays don’t have to pull you out of yourself. With the help of aromatic plants and energetic rituals, you can meet this season with more balance, clarity, and grounded presence (even if it’s just 5% more than where you were last year).

Consider creating a personalized aromatic toolkit for yourself: a small collection of oils, incenses, or hydrosols that speak to your particular needs and challenges. Think of it like your emotional or energetic first-aid kit. Keep them accessible. Use them liberally. Let them remind you that you have agency, that you can return to center, that your nervous system can find regulation even when everything external feels tumultuous.

Ready to stock your aromatic toolkit? 

Our sister company, Higher Mind Incense, sells all-natural incense made from 100% aromatic plants, including Frankincense, Myrrh, Palo Santo Resin, Juniper, and more. Our mission is to offer plant-based products that support people, plants, and planet through sustainability, eco-conscious practices, and natural and chemical free products.

Article Written By Melissa Szaro

© 2025 The Northwest School of Aromatic Medicine. All rights reserved.

*The statements above have not been evaluated by the FDA, and are for educational purposes only. This article is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This article should not be taken as medical advice. Please consult your physician before you use this information for health purposes.